Another of the many motto’s I live by
Blaise & I after some fresh cuts. We look human again lol, scratch that we look damn good! (Taken with instagram)
My pretend daughter for the day, Aliya sleeping adorably. She’s 2cute & such a good little girl (Taken with instagram)
BB, still after all this time…
Single life is great & all but when you have had the real thing once nothing else even comes close 2 comparing. BB, I look 4 u in every1 I meet, projecting u into hundreds of girls I’ve seen or gone thru, endless wasted nights I pretend that what we had is what I have w/ whoever I’m w/ when its nothing close. Words spew from my intoxicated mouth, empty promises of love do I pledge 2 these 1 nighters, each party knowing I dont… that I can’t….because u still hold my heart now as much as u did 3 1/2 years ago when you left….
Time only makes things weirder for me as I feel like my body has been stumbling through hell for an eternity since then while in my mind it feels like the worlds longest month. Its something I can’t take back & seems lost forever. All this time & I haven’t run out of words to say how I feel or what u meant BC I know what I had in you. Having ur heart & love, I never felt so complete in all my life. You made me a better man, you made me a better person, & granted I may have needed some more room to grow but u were getting me there. Which is farther than I am now BC I only went backwards after ur absence. I can’t seem 2 forget about the mornings we would wake up in my house & the room was bright from the sun & when the light hit ur blonde hair & crept down 2 ur golden skin, which was soft & warm against my naked body, I would think that I must have died & gone to heaven BC I was laying intertwined with my own personal angel.
Everyone since has been a shitty substitute in my lame attempts to fill the whole that is in my chest & soul. But like putting a dollar store bandaide over a giant gash, in moments the temporary fix was nothing more then a rouse & the wound stays fresh, open & bleeding. Nothing was as truly amazing & perfect as the love that I shared with you which is why I know I can’t just rediscover it as hard as I may try to force it into fruition. When u have had the real thing nothing less even seems worth it to even make the attempt.
My heart just can’t get past that day when u left & took ur love away. I’m left hooked like a junkie trying to find the fix that will make me normal again. All the while knowing I’ll never be normal again. & Now I must accept that ur some1 else’s wife but that wont keep me from loving u all the days of my life….all I can hope for is to meet you again in the next life, where I hope everything I do will be right & each night I’ll get to hold u into & beyond the fading light…..
